Proverb: As you make your bed so you must lie in it. Have you ever felt you made a poor choice in the past and believe you must now live with the consequences of your actions forever? Find out how to move forward.
This is a second post in a series, which digs deeper into meanings of proverbs. Sometimes useful grains of truth are found within proverbs and other times their meanings can show you where healing and forgiveness work are needed to move forward.
As You Make Your Bed So You Must Lie In It
This proverb means that one has to live with the consequences of one’s actions, and one has to take the responsibility for them. Fair enough, right?
What The Proverb “As You Make Your Bed So You Must Lie In It” Really Means:
On one hand stepping up to the plate and taking 100% responsibility for what you have created in your life so far is the first step in moving forward.
On the other hand, you can take this to another level and end up taking too much responsibility for your actions. For far too long. It is actually a form of self-suffering and grieving.
It is one thing to own your actions and their consequences. Problems arise when we allow our past actions to become a part of our identity. It can become a form of self-imposed suffering that interferes with your true identity.
Let me explain what I mean:
Say, for example you treated someone poorly, made a bad first impression that cost you a job, or harmed someone somehow. You can feel like you blew it, lost your one chance, and may never be able to make amends.
When our thinking gets too far off-balance, we can run a program of self-punishment or suffering because the thought process is that you can never make the situation right.
Here’s the Truth:
Sometimes we spend too much time lying in the bed we have made so far instead of building a new bed. I do believe we need to take 100% ownership of what we have created in our life so far, but no one ever said you had to lie in that bed forever if you don’t like it anymore. Give yourself permission to move forward, forgive yourself, and grow from the experience.
Ask yourself if you take on too much blame or responsibility. There is a balance between taking responsibility for your part of an interaction, but the pendulum can swing too far in the other direction. Ask yourself if you are taking on someone’s else’s pain.
How This Affects Your Intuition:
Often times, opportunities present themselves and we say no to them due to our current circumstances. We can keep thinking we have to lie in the same bed for years or decades. We say no to new opportunities that could help us get out of our current circumstances.
Forgiveness, Healing, and Moving Forward
So, how do you let some of these beliefs go?
You may have already done a lot of inner work on forgiving yourself and others. If not that is the first place to start. One thing that has helped me is to view the other party as playing a role in a movie.
If you can look back at the situation and view it as though it was a movie, it becomes easier to see some of the beliefs and patterns within a situation.
Allow gratitude for the initial experience, where are right now, and what you can change in the future. The time does come to begin making a new bed.
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