Tips for Overcoming Disappointment and Regaining Perspective

Learn tips for overcoming disappointment and regaining perspective. We have all experienced disappointment at some point in our lives. If looked at correctly, disappointment can be used as a teaching tool to bring clarity to what we truly want.

Disappointment is the discrepancy between what we really want and how clear we are about communicating our value to the world. It is a sneaky form of self-sabotage.

When we want something so badly, we can easily get stuck in the “how” of getting what we want. We focus on how our desires will come to us, and when they don’t come in the form we expect, we experience disappointment.

Alternatively, have you thought you didn’t really want something, and then when you didn’t get it felt more disappointed than ever? It is a sign that you really wanted it more than you consciously thought.


An example would be thinking you really didn’t want that job promotion being offered in your company and then not even being considered as a candidate. All of a sudden your thinking changes to “Why was I not even considered for the job? Doesn’t anyone see my value to the company? I can’t believe they didn’t even consider me for the position. They should know I wanted that.”

Also, you may consciously tell yourself that you don’t need recognition from being mentioned publicly with your business. But then when no one even thinks to nominate you as a potential candidate for an award, you feel incredibly disappointed and perhaps ignored. That is where the sting comes in. It helps you to understand that you really did want the recognition, and that is perfectly okay for you to feel that way.

Overcoming Disappointment Can Bring Clarity

Overcoming disappointment can often bring clarity to what you really wanted. Many times we tell ourselves that something doesn’t really matter to us and we say we don’t want that, such as in a promotion or publicity for your business. It makes you wonder if what you are putting out to the Universe is heard in the way you intended.

How do you know if it is something you really wanted? It is the sting that comes when you don’t get it, or don’t even get mentioned as a possible candidate. Although the feeling is no fun to sit through, it often can bring the clarity needed to allow yourself to say “Yes, I really wanted that”. The next step is to take a good hard look at what you have put out to the Universe and see if your perception of yourself is the same as what others are seeing.

Communicating Your Value

Are the thoughts, words, and signals that you are sending out matching what others are hearing? You may think that people really know what you are about, but is that what is actually coming out on the surface? What do you need to do to become recognized as you want? Does what you say and do match how others think of you and about your work?

If you have done what you can and your efforts have still gone unnoticed, it is time for some self-promotion. How often do you let others know about what you are working on or what you have accomplished? Do you just secretly hope that others will notice your efforts?

You first need clarity about your value and what you have to offer. Then you need to communicate that clearly to others, and in some cases shout it from the rooftops. You may have to do this over and over. If you don’t own the value of what you offer, no one else will see it either. Only after that will others see you in the same light and extend recognition and acknowledgement to you.

Overcoming Disappointment By Letting Go Of The How

This is perhaps one of the toughest things to get clear on. Focusing on your intended outcome without focusing on exactly how we will receive it can be difficult. By trying to state exactly how something is to come into our lives, we cut off so many other avenues and ways that our intended result could come to us. The thing most important to understand is that in most cases, the exact way of how is not even on our radar screen at the moment. The Universe has more than a few ways to bring you what you want.

Tips For Overcoming Disappointment

Once you acknowledge exactly why you were disappointed with the outcome and briefly examined any underlying reasons, it is time to move on.

Here are a few ideas to get yourself out of dwelling on the situation and regain perspective.

  • Music – Play your favorite music loud and sing along.
  • Dance – movement is one of the best ways to change your vibration.
  • Exercise – Concentrate on how well you are doing the movements within your specific exercises. It helps you place your focus on something else.
  • Laugh – If a friend isn’t available, find funny cartoons or videos online and laugh your way out of the funk.
  • Trust – Realize the Universe may have something better in mind or a better way to deliver it to you than the way you thought.

Buckle down and get to work. Take your new-found clarity and let others know your value.  Embrace your soul purpose. Decide something is worth doing and put together a plan with renewed vigor to get you to your goals.

5 thoughts on “Tips for Overcoming Disappointment and Regaining Perspective”

  1. Hi Laura,

    Those who “win” (or get the promotion, get on the list, etc) aren’t always those who are necessarily most deserving. I have to call into question the entire methodology of how society generally acknowledges people. For instance, there were some blogger awards recently where at least one person got on the “top 50” list by whining and crying – literally. If that’s a “winner” then doesn’t that invalidate the whole contest? And then there are the politics which are always involved…

    I guess i would agree with you that we have to be open to admitting that we want something, and also be open to the ways we may get it differently (usually better) than we had imagined. But something makes me think we need to reinvent what a winner or winning really is! The old conventions just smell stinky to me.

    • Hi Julie!

      Cool, your comment posted at 4:44 pm!

      I am working on letting go of the “how”. I seem to want everything to be in a neat row. This happens first, then this, then expected result. When it doesn’t happen in the order I envision, enter disappointment.

      You are so correct that by staying open to how our desires get delivered and not being attached to an outcome the Universe brings us what we want, usually better than we had imagined.

  2. Great article, Laura! :~) I have to agree – there is usually a HUGE lesson in there somewhere about disappointment – often to do with expectations and perhaps even being happy with where we are, as well as what you outlined about knowing what we REALLY want. Love your articles! :~)

    • Hi Sallie,
      Thanks for stopping by! Yes, sometimes we are so busy working to get “there” that we forget to be happy where we are and for what we have already achieved. Okay, I am taking a deep centering breath and sending thanks to the Universe.

  3. I agree with Sallie Keys; your articles are good — too ‘good’ to be accidental. They have a way of popping up in exact coincidence with what i happen to be currently stumbling on at the moment… which is (to me) a sign that you are definitely ‘keyed into the All’ and speaking for and with it.

    ‘Letting go of the how’ is one of those things that my ‘guiding voices’ keep repeating… things that I fully believe and know, but seem to have difficulty applying ‘in real time.’ There are lots of those at this point.

    I also find it interesting that four out of five of your ‘Tips for overcoming disappointment are things I’ve instinctually been doing on a regular basis to ‘bleed off negativity’ for at least two years now… the dancing doesn’t seem to happen until the later stages, though.. when I’ve already lifted most of it off.

    I frequently find myself completely surrounded in negativity and disappointment lately, but I keep ‘getting’ the same two messages back when I ‘cry out’ at the Universe: 1) “Everything happens exactly the way it’s supposed to” and 2) “You are always exactly where you need to be at the moment.” Don’t understand it, but can’t keep from believing it.


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