How To Stop Self-Sabotage And Get Out Of Your Own Way

Self-sabotage is like a mirror reflection of where we are and what is standing on our way of receiving what we have asked for. Learn to get out of your own way.

On Friday I made the following post on Facebook, “Today my guides have been telling me to “Get out of my own way” and “Get over it”. It seems I am getting a mirror shown to me every time a self-sabotaging thought enters my mind. It is kind of eerie in a way being made aware of how many obstacles I have created for myself, all of my own doing. Sheesh! I think it means I am finally ready to let go of some of those obstacles.” 

It seemed to resonate with a few people, so I thought I would expand on that thought. Here is another post I wrote on how we sabotage our dreams.

Great Intentions

It starts by sending out an intention to the Universe for something we really want. We love this part because we are usually in a high vibrational state and looking forward to seeing results. The Universe then brings back a reflection of where we are and what is standing in our way of receiving what we asked for, usually fairly quickly.

It is just like a mirror. There is a perfect action and reaction going on to let us know exactly where we are at. Once you understand that it is only a reflection, and not a punishment or getting victimized, it really can become rather fun to see what shows up. It is like the Universe is saying, “Oh, you want that? This is how it looks from our side”.

Ways We Sabotage Ourselves

Here are a few of my own examples. If you want to chime in with your thoughts or own examples in the comments below, that would be much appreciated.

I recently set an intention to allow myself to speak clearly and be heard. The result was that later that night I started feeling sick. I ended up with some nasal sinus cold that makes me sound horrible and a slightly sore throat. Why would I manifest that? Because there is still a fear of speaking clearly to others. The mirror is saying that I don’t believe what I say has enough value to others.

I wanted to get a new photo taken for this blog. I even have a gift certificate from Christmas. So, I thought a few day ago, I am going to call and set an  appointment. Lo and behold, the next day I had a very bad flare up of acne. I have struggled with cystic acne for most of my life. Why would I manifest that? Well that would require me to examine the real reasons for not wanting the photo taken, like not having lost the weight I wanted and knowing that I haven’t taken care of myself as I should have to take a great photo. It would be a reflection that I have aged. The mirror is saying that I am not practicing enough self-care.

I have also set an intention to go on a warm tropical vacation and lose weight before then. Then I end up consuming 3 times the amount of food and drink I normally would during the weekend, eating things I know are poor for me. What this brings to light is that you really don’t want to look at the underlying reasons the weight went on in the first place. The mirror is saying I don’t value myself enough to take the time and effort to look great and perhaps also that I don’t really think I deserve to go on that vacation.

Don’t you love the games we can play?

Ways We Grow From The Experience

As someone who believes that we are 100% creator of everything that happens in our lives, it is interesting to delve into how certain instances happen. We are here on Earth not to stagnate and live in fear, but to experience all that we can. We want variety, stimulation, and new fun ways to express our gifts. Our mind is always thinking up new ways to do this.

It is like a game that we play with ourselves. We really want something, and then put up all the obstacles we can think of to now allow ourselves to have it. It is all an illusion.

One of the comments on the Facebook post was quite well put, ” It seems that now that we know better we are compelled to better or ‘feel the pinch’ and therefore we are forced to control our thoughts if we must graduate for divinity or so it seems. As soon as one criticizes or make judgements one becomes it or them. So uncanny!”

What It Really Takes To Overcome Self-Sabotage

Decide – Commit – Succeed

Self-sabotage is a reflection that we have not yet 100% decided what we want. We have not yet burned the bridges to make the intended result we want to be the only result possible.

Leave A Comment

What are your thoughts? Any examples to share and perhaps how you overcame the self-sabotage? Let me know in the comments below.

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14 thoughts on “How To Stop Self-Sabotage And Get Out Of Your Own Way”

  1. Self-sabotage can also be about the fears that we still carry around inside of us because we haven’t face them and worked through them yet. Self-doubt can be one of those fears.

    Self-sabotage can also be about the inner voices that we haven’t acknowledged and told to get out of our minds, voices that could be negative parental voices from our childhood, especially if we come from abusive childhoods. Our inner critic is often a parent’s voice from our childhood or it could be our own voice repeating what our parents said to us as children. Either way, the inner critic does not control my life today.

    One of my inner children will still sometimes give me a headache when she hears some new information on how to heal or how to move forward with our life. It is her resistance to change. The difference is that I recognise the resistance today and don’t have to give into it. I have learned to nurture my inner children but not let them control my life.

    • Hi Patricia,

      You bring up some great points! What you said about recognizing the resistance and realizing that you don’t have to give in to it is huge. That in itself is the aha moment. I have made great progress when I have those moments. I know there are still some more to come to the surface though. Thanks for the comment.

  2. Hi, wow did this hit home. Today was supposed to be a new opportunity joining a new Reiki Share with a good neighbor. I have been so excited to go since I became a Reiki Master this past week. Lo and behold as I was in a rush to get everything done this morning I was finishing up washing dishes and sliced my finger with a steak knife, resulting in an emergency visit with four stitches.

    Ok, asking myself how could I have been so careless, when in a few hours I would be laying hands for energy healing on others. Now I must deal with finger in splint with gauze everywhere.

    Why did this manifest? Reiki guides telling me, slow down, stop rushing, accept self healing. Then I remembered the prayer I say everyday, “Lord help me to heal so that I may be of better service to others”. Thanks Laura for this article. I became aware that self-reflection is enlightening.


    • Hi Dee, Congratulations on becoming a Reiki Master! Sorry to hear about the finger, ouch! It is unfortunate that sometimes that self-reflection has to come in the form of physical pain, but it does serve to help us learn and understand. I am sending healing energy to you.

  3. What a great, great topic Laura! This is SO true! I have a question for you… Can you give a real-world example of what you meant by this: “The Universe then brings back a reflection of where we are and what is standing in our way of receiving what we asked for, usually fairly quickly.” Thanks! Sallie :~)

    • Hi Sallie,

      For me personally, if I am aligned with my request, I will usually see a bunch of repeating numbers, which indicates to me that I am in alignment with that thought.

      If I instead get odd emails or blog comments, I know that something is off and I need to correct something or be more specific.

      So like in the examples above, I set an intention to speak more clearly and end up with a sinus cold. I wanted to get a new photo taken and get an acne flare-up. Rather than getting a green signal, the reflection is, at least in those two examples, an actual physical reaction. It means there is more to examine before I can get what I desire. The self-sabotage usually comes in when you want something outside of your comfort zone.

      Last night I was daydreaming about what my sports car was going to look like when our son graduated and I could get a two door car again. I wanted it to be bright red and very sporty looking. I wasn’t very specific. This morning, while taking the mail out I noticed 5 red cars drive by our house, almost in order. There was nothing special about them, just standard cars. I thought, that’s rather strange. Then I remembered my daydreaming. That reflection of seeing those red cars made me realize I need to be more clear about exactly what I want, as I really was thinking about a really cool, expensive, high end sports car, not just any old red car.

      The reason I didn’t get any self-sabotage from this is because it is too far away yet and I wasn’t very specific in what model I wanted. It will be a few years before I have to look at the reality of how to pay for a car like that. The closer you are getting to what you want, the more the self-sabotage shows up. It means success is just on the other side, waiting for you to break through those last few self-placed barriers.

    • Yes, exactly. Life wouldn’t have much variety if everything was clear cut and spelled out for us. So we get to do a bit of detective work along the way.

  4. I ponder this myself. I am in a relationship and a friend told me that he will cheat on me down the road. I will find my soul mate and marry living happily ever after. My current partner has struggles with his sexuality and he promises not to act on them. We have a young child together and I can’t help but wonder about what my friend told me… In the process of being really happy now, do I keep pushing off a future with my current partner for some other possible event that may or may not happen or think negatively about our relationship now? SIGH!
    Anyway! I agree with many of the comments and have gleaned much from your blog! Thank you!

    • Hi Melinda,

      I am glad you found posts here that have been helpful to you. I think for what you wrote, the answer is one of trusting your gut and using your intuition as to whether you should stay connected to this person. Many times the situations at hand overshadow our true feelings about something. You need to sit quietly-first thing in the morning is the best, clear your thoughts, meditate and search your feelings about whether to continue with this relationship or move on. Your heart will know the answer. If you heart says to stay in your current relationship, explicit trust from you is necessary for it to work.

      • I know in my heart that I want it to work. He is very kind and loving to me and my other children. We came from a Domestic abuse situation and I feel very loved and appreciated.

        It has been 3 years of happy times, some rocky due to a crazy ex and my partners fantasy. Time will tell and I will definitely meditate on it! Thank you!

  5. Laura, thank you so much for posting on this topic. At one point in my soul searching, I realized so clearly that I was sabotaging myself from achieving goals and I also began to discover why. I think many of us are accustomed to a life full of disappointments and settling for what is not best for us and it becomes a kind of comfort zone–not good by any means, but familiar, therefore it feels safer than venturing out into the unknown, even with the promise of happiness and fulfillment! Isn’t that awful!? And yet even when we are made aware of this, it is still hard to change. However, simply catching myself in self-defeating moments and “changing the mental channel” right then by not dwelling on those negative thoughts is helping considerably. It is becoming a habit and a good one at that.
    Your words really spoke to me. Laura, I didn’t realize that we could actually physically manifest our own sabotage too (as you cited in your examples such as getting a cold and an acne flare-up) but the more I thought about it, the more I could recall moments like that also.
    You said, “The closer you are getting to what you want, the more the self-sabotage shows up. It means success is just on the other side, waiting for you to break through those last few self-placed barriers.” The top of the hill is just up ahead. So why do we trip ourselves up? Are we afraid to experience the joy that awaits us on the other side? WOW. Well, frankly I’m tired of the fears, doubts, and self-sabotage. I’m taking what you said to heart. I’ve got a crazy goal that I’m wrestling myself about and I’ve decided not only to get to the top of the hill, but when I do…I’m gonna slide down the other side with a big smile, shouting, “WHEEEE!!” (wish me luck!) Blessings to you and all you do to help others.


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