A major life change is upon me and I am excited, scared, and in awe. I guess I really never thought this day would come, but is has. I gave my 2-week notice to my day job last week Wednesday. My last day is scheduled for June 10th. I will be full-time self employed from this point forward. In my last blog post, I told you I would let you in on one of the obligations I released from my life, so this is it.
For the past 6 years or so, I have read other people’s blogs and have silently cheered for them as they announced they have left their day jobs to pursue their calling and life’s purpose. I always loved reading those types of posts. They were so inspirational! Well, today is my day to follow in their footsteps and do the same thing.
This is not something I just jumped into. I began my first website back in 2005 and have worked part time at it and others for the past 5-1/2 years. For the past two years I have saved up as much as I could. I will go into more detail on that in a future post.
The last few weeks leading up to this have been wrought with fear, confusion, and a sense of obligation. My energy would swing from one extreme to the other. Before I made the final decision to leave, I just couldn’t put my finger on what was holding me back. It turns out my ego needed to have its say. And it CERTAINLY had a lot to say! I used Automatic Writing to dialogue the following exchange:
The Ego Speaks – Loudly!
Ego: Well Laura, do you really think your are going to get rid of all your problems by quitting your job? I have kept you safe for many years. what makes you think you can carve out a living for your self by yourself? You need me to keep you safe. I protect you and you try to take all the credit. You will always need someone to protect you. You really don’t have it in you to succeed on your own.
Yes, I know your hearts desire is to be self employed and earn a living on your own. Who are you kidding? You haven’t done it so far, so what makes you think you can now? You have enough income to get by, why do you want more? So what if you time is owned by someone else? What’s wrong with that? Not everyone here on this Earth is meant to be a leader. You have a long way to go in that arena. You can’t even have a decent conversation with people that you do know. I really hate you for trying to be more than you are.
Me: Are you done yet?
Ego: No, I am not done. You always try to bury me and now I will have my say, darn it. I am here for a reason and you would be well served to listen to me. You don’t have the guts to leave your job. Your boss does a great job of protecting you, why do you have to blow that? The world is a very scary place and you will be down and out in no time. You will be asking your husband for money sooner than you think. And I know how you love to do that.
What makes you think that your ideas are so great? You have gotten this far by a lot of hard work and luck that someone was protecting you. You are not meant to be on your own. You will disappoint yourself and others around you. You live by fear of disappointing others and I don’t see that changing. That is what I am here for. I protect you. If you were to change, you would really have to get up on your own two feet and make a change. I don’t see you doing that. You are weak and need protecting.
Me: Are you done now? What if I do it anyway and leave my job? What if I succeed?
Ego: I really don’t think you will. But I guess you can try if you really want to. You’ll just disappoint your family and yourself.
Me: What if I don’t?
Ego: Well, I just don’t really know then, but it still doesn’t seem like a good idea to me to go out on your own.
Me: What if you protected me still, but just a little less?
Ego: Well, I guess that would be alright. So you wouldn’t abandon me completely?
Me: No, I still need you, just not as overbearing.
Ego: I guess I could live with that.
Me: Do you have anything else to say to me?
Ego: No, I guess not, but I might later.
I had this conversation with myself on Tuesday afternoon last week. I was able to walk in Wednesday morning and give my notice. My ego just needed to have its say in the matter and I needed to acknowledge the fears.
Foward to a New Future
So a new chapter of my life is beginning and another is closing. It all seems a bit surreal at the moment. I will be concentrating on giving intuitive readings, so if you have thought about getting a reading, check it out.
YAY! I am THRILLED for you! I’m not too far behind you. 🙂 Just a little bit longer in cubicle-ville for me to save some more cash.
Anyway, I’m very happy for you and I’m doing a silent, virtual cheer for you! 🙂
Hi Lindsay,
Thank you so much for your support and words of encouragement. It really felt like jumping off a cliff. I look forward to your post when you are ready to make the jump as well. I know it will be soon.
What a great conversation you had with your ego. I love it. When I find myself in fear of something ending or starting, I recognize it as my ego speaking.
For so many years, ego and fear ruled my life. Not as much today and I am grateful for that change. Have a glorious trip with whatever you choose to do with the rest of your life. I know you will succeed.
Hi Patricia,
Thank your for your kind words! Yes, I am learning to work with my ego and let it have its say instead of ignoring it and wondering why I can’t accomplish what I want.
Good for you! I left my own office job last September, and it has been AWESOME. I’m still doing a little contract work for them at home, but in the rest of my time I’ve been blogging about the ghost who lives with me, taking better care of my health, and starting a little jewelry business on the side, all of which is immensely satisfying.
Because if worse comes to worse, you can always go out and get another job. But you can never know the feeling of having TRIED if you don’t actually try.
So send your ego on an all-expenses-paid vacation, and take all your advice from your higher self and your guides instead. And there’s nothing wrong with asking your husband for money, either. I think that’s part of the deal of being married! You go, girl! 🙂
Hi Anna,
It is great to hear from someone who is two or three steps ahead of where I am at. Especially since it has been a positive experience. I think I am going to print out all of these wonderful comments and keep them around to read on those days that I am not feeling as brave as now. Thank you for your support!
Awesome and inspiring post. I think we all must share the same ego because that is what mine sounds like.
You will do great at being self-employed. I believe that in the near future more people will quit their “slave” jobs and go and work for themselves.
Hi Justin,
Thanks for the kind words. I am glad my ego is not the only one that sounds that way. 🙂
I’m at the very beginning of my working for myself as an intuitive healer journey, as I have just set up my website. My situation is a little different, as I am a full-time mom right now and don’t see myself quitting my “job” 🙂 I do however hope to make it on my own, so that I don’t have to leave the kids and go get a “real job” working for someone else.
I am super excited to see this post! It’s very inspiring. Thank you!
Hey people, thank you! I found these words exactly in the right time! My ego didn’t want to let me go till now althought my work makes me mad and lost! But I know I can feel better! I’m very very grateful for that:)
Congrats on your new purpose! I am on the same path only I had to be pushed from my place of comfort. I hope I can be as fearless as you.
You will do great at being self-employed. I believe that in the near future more people will quit their “slave” jobs and go and work for themselves. I agree with Justin someday if I master to monetize my blog, somehow I’ll join your company being a self employed already. Thanks