Do you keep repeating the same pattern of verbally and emotionally beating yourself up when you feel you have failed at something? Is it still serving you? Are you ready to change the pattern?
I wrote about the luxury of negativity in a past post and it got me thinking about how we hang on to our stories.
What Did I Do That Was So Wrong???
When I was younger, whenever I had a negative experience and got emotionally wounded or hurt, I would find myself constantly rewinding the situation and beat up on myself for making a mistake. I always wondered what it was that I did or said to provoke someone else and have them not like me or for someone to have said something hurtful to me. It really never occurred to me at that point that it may have been the other person having a bad day, I always thought it was just about what I did or said.
Living In The Past
“The past is over, so it has no power now. The thoughts of this moment create my future.” – Louise Hay
The joys of living in the past with a unhealthy pattern of beating yourself up using negative words and feelings is that you get to keep reliving the scene over and over in your mind. (There’s some joy for you!)
It grows and grows until you think the entire world knows about your situation or WHAT YOU DID. Think about a situation that was unpleasant in high school. Yes, there were plenty to choose from!
If you hang on to the story for twenty years after, there is absolutely no way that what you are thinking in your mind about the situation is the truth of what happened.
You have energetically made it yours and “own it”. Twenty years of thinking about an event that happened when you were too young to know all the workings of the world is no way to live your life. You have to forgive yourself and start showing kindness to yourself.
Okay, fess up. I know I am not the only one here. Which of you are hanging on to your stories? Think about what it would feel like for them not to be a major part of your life right now.
“Who would you be without your story?” – Byron Katie
Self-Love And Kindness
It has taken many years and many tries to be kinder to myself, but there is a point of realization when you think, gee – this is just not helping me get what I want and it no longer serves me.
Every action that we do or don’t do serve us in some way, even if you can not possibly find the meaning at that exact time.
There is quite a difference between beating yourself up and taking an honest assessment of your thoughts and actions. The latter is where you may come to some realizations like admitting that fear did keep you from doing something you really wanted and you missed an opportunity. The former is just about the ego putting a big blockade in your way to really healing from past situations.
I have written about the healing benefits of Reiki in a previous post. This is something that has helped tremendously to get through these negative thoughts. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is also something that works well for letting go of past patterns.