Looking for a special someone? Find an amazing relationship with a bit of self-reflection, journaling, and looking at your values.
How To Find An Amazing Relationship
Okay, a good way to do this is to start with some lists. It really helps to see things on paper sometimes.
Think of up to 5 people whom you greatly admire (male or female). List out 2-5 qualities that come to mind when you think of each person. Try to think bigger than just witty, funny, makes me laugh, but go deeper into characteristics like “always pays their bills on time, speaks gracefully, always looks you straight in the eye, always prompt, etc”.
You might include a few physical characteristics too, but if you want that amazing relationship, those inner characteristics and emotional intelligence will be what wins your heart. You can use parents, siblings, good friends, ex-boyfriends or girlfriends, celebrities, or anyone else you have looked up to at some point in your life.
Now think about your non-negotiable items and write them down. These are the deal breakers that you would never put up with. You might write down things like talking down to you in public or private, saying poor things about your family, cheating, lying, or not being open about all assets. Think about past relationships and what the real deal breaker was. Usually they are situations or remarks that have hurt you deeply.
Check in with your values
In some cases, a prior relationship might have ended because of a conflict in values. Take a good look at your values and if you are holding true to them.
Take a moment and write a summary paragraph or two about what that ideal relationship or person looks like. Turn any don’ts on the list into a positive statement. So, instead of saying I don’t want someone who drinks or smokes, you might write it out as you want someone that leads a healthy athletic lifestyle. Read it over and see if it feels right for you. You can always go back and make changes later.
At this point you can look at potential relationship partners and see how they stack up. If you have questions, those can be good things to start having conversations about.
Where Do You Fit?
Are you a good match for what you found you wanted? Is there anything you want to personally work on? An amazing relationship takes two.