Are You Toning Yourself Down To Fit In?
What happens when you allow others to dictate your actions? Break through the perception of being normal and let your soul’s unique gifts shine through.
Until the past 6 years or so, I spent most of my life attempting to appear and stay normal. I have gone along with what people said in attempts not to rock the boat, not to stand out, and not to have my own voice. Why? Because I care about others and their feelings. I incorrectly felt that if I toned myself down others would feel more comfortable around me.
What did that get me? A feeling of losing my identity. A thought process of “I am whomever you want me to be.” I felt I had nothing unique to offer. I felt like I was on the proverbial treadmill with no way of getting off. This is what kills your passion and stops it in its tracks. You can become so far removed from who you are at soul level you fail to know who you are and what you are capable of achieving.
What Does Being Normal Even Mean?
The way I would describe normal is like this: normal is a smaller version of you. Being normal takes away your individuality, sparkle, and shine. It keeps the world from seeing ALL of who you are. You are buying into the need to fit your skills and talents into a neat little box – a box created by society or someone else.
Are You Toning Yourself Down In Order To Fit In?
What does it look like when you keep trying to fit into someone else’s perception of who you are? Here are a few examples:
- You tone down your home decorating so the room won’t look too “woo woo”.
What if you made that alter in the corner of your living room? Would your family think you went too far? What if you hung crystals in each of your windows? Would someone be embarrassed by how you chose to decorate? Does your home express your uniqueness or does it feel more like bland cookie cutter vanilla?
- You water down what you say and use fillers in your vocabulary.
Using fillers waters down your message and you end up appearing weak and a smaller version of yourself. Using qualifiers and fillers such as “may”, ” just”, “probably”, “I guess”, and “sort of” water down your message. Think about why you are using those words and what you could say instead. Sometimes when you eliminate those words from daily conversation, you end up feeling too harsh or exposed or you might feel uncomfortable with absolute statements. Think about if you actually said exactly what you wanted to say in no uncertain terms. How empowering is that?
- You buy into someone else’s perception of a role you need to fill.
Have you ever heard something similar to this? “Sally, you would never do that! I just can’t understand where you are coming from! What has gotten into you? Why are you all of a sudden acting so strange? I feel like I just don’t know you anymore?”
Often, when you hear these types of things from a spouse or someone close you might believe them for a bit. You might think someone else’s perception of your role is correct. At a deeper level you know you can create any situation you want. Watch out for falling back into the old patterns of not being true to who you are in order to please someone else and not rock the boat.
Did you ever notice when someone says exactly what needs saying when it needs to be said that you have a moment of silent respect and admiration for them?
If you were able to do the same would you:
- Do the audacious thing and tell someone what you think without mincing your words?
- Say the bold words sitting on the tip of your tongue?
- Speak up when someone insults you and tell them it is not okay?
- Stop apologizing for your hopes and dreams?
Tall Poppy Syndrome
A tall poppy is a lone flower within a field of poppies that stands taller than the rest. It is a great metaphor for busting out of the routine of normal.
I think the question to be asked here is: Are you willing to be a tall poppy? Are you willing to put your WHOLE self out there?
The thing with a tall poppy is it gets noticed. It gets attention. It might get mowed down. Are you willing to risk being a tall poppy and share not just some, but all of your quirky, crazy gifts with the world?
Are You Leaving Out Pieces of YOU?
What would be the “normal” thing to do? What would be the extraordinary action to take?
Can be extraordinary and realize you are ready to step into who you are?
Can you love yourself for ALL of you?
Are you trying to stay normal so others will be comfortable? When you do you fail to stand out and be unique and instead blend into the crowd of normal.
Is that what you want? I place my bets this is not the case.
Find out your unique soul level gifts and what is blocking you from using them. Book an intuitive reading with me today.